if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
