I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
