so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
