True but thats because hes a fetus.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
