Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize