well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
