I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
