a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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