You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
