I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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