please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
