i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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