Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
