he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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