after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
