i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
why does every cop we meet know your name?