Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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