my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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