Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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