There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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