you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
