He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She's the barista slut.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
