Tell her she can't have a vagina
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
