Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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