We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
