she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize