Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
