My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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