Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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