He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
