sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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