I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
