I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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