Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I think i got beer on your cat.
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