Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
