once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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