Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
