he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I want to fling myself into the sun
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
