This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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