Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
