things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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