so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
