Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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