You made me cry and you don't even care
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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