Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable