one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means