I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
