he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
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I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
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I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING