So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT