i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
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I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There's always time for handjobs
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He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.