I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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