She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
