But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
