so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
