This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
