Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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