I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
