do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The power of my boobs compel you
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
