I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
