He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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