Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
